It was definitely NOT my child who, once let out of her stroller, grabbed its handle to push it around and sloshed my beer out (that was resting peacefully in the cup holder) all over herself.
It was also not my child that exuberantly climbed the pirate ship play structure, sat down at the top of the spiral tube slide, and promptly slid down. While Mommy was left standing at the top wondering where on earth the bottom of the slide was and if it would be appropriate to run over other children while racing to get back on the ground to hunt down my small, fast toddler.
And it wasn't me at all that practically squealed with delight when seeing the changing table right in the middle of all those port-a-potties! I also did NOT hear myself ask Jillian something to the effect of, "Why are there rocks in your diaper?!?".
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